So What Now?

As a collective, we’ve been through so much in the past year. The plans I made to be a consistent blogger were not exactly fruitful- but that’s okay. Lately every night before bed I think about what my next blog post will be, I wonder what encouraging message could I leave my peers? Most nights ideas flood my mind but when the next day comes along with its struggles I’d soon forget my writing plans.

I don’t have it all figured out and I allow my perfectionist tendencies to hold me back. Most times I allow the mindset of “I don’t have the answer so what can I write about?” to take over and I end up not sharing anything. Either way, I’m here to be vulnerable, not perfect. So what now? Where do we go from here? I guess I’ll share one or two things I’ve recently learned about myself.

I used to pride myself on having it mostly all together but when the pandemic hit, so was my ego. The uncertainty of 2020 brought on a level of anxiety I had never experienced. I was scared for my life, my parents and family members, especially since they all work in the health field, just afraid of the scary possibilities the future held. For the first time I struggled through panic attacks and that messed with me too. Where was the strong girl I once was? Who is this scaredy-cat looking back at me in the mirror? My world was rocked.

I googled and googled- because what else can you do when you’re quarantined and it’s just you and your phone? Lol, don’t answer that. I came across this whole world of mental health. Hmm, that sounds familiar I thought. Long story short, I came across a ton of resources that expressly spoke to what I was dealing with and BOYYY the relief that came over me was immense, as well as the question- where do I go from here?

Guess we’ll see. To be continued…could be next week, month, or year but I’ll be sure to catch y’all up!